Quote of the Week

When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure.

Peter Marshall

Happy Friday

Lydia says, "Happy Friday everyone!" Have a blessed weekend!

25 Things

I have nothing noteworthy to add to my blog today, so thought I'd share a recent list of 25 interesting (maybe) things you might not know about me. And although I've tweaked it a little, for those of you who've already seen this in our Facebook world, my apologies...

1. When I was 17, I proclaimed that I'd move to the East Coast one day. When I was 24, I actually did.
2. The town I grew up in was smaller than my husband's high school.
3. My favorite ice cream flavor is bubble gum. Without the gumballs.
4. I watched the Twin Towers burn from my office window and should have lost my husband that day. But God.
5. I have two "sets" of kids who are less than thirteen months apart and I’ve been pregnant or nursing for all but 5 months of the last seven years. My husband once told me he wanted enough kids for a hockey team. I didn't believe him. I should have.
6. I was a nanny and my memories with those children are among the highlights of my life.
7. I feel like a new person since I stopped eating gluten.
8. I've met Mr. T and Lyle Lovett (and have the pictures to prove it).
9. I've been to Disney World twice while pregnant. With different children.
10. I'm a homeschooling mom and it challenges me to get outside of myself every day.
11. I would love to live in New England. One of my favorite places is Cape Cod.
12. I now live on the island I used to vacation on as a kid, and am thankful it has bridge access rather than having to depend on a ferry.
13. Watching my kids interact with each other is one of my favorite pastimes.
14. While on a missions trip to Egypt, I floated the Nile and rode a camel in the Sahara Desert.
15. In a symbolic expression of joining our two worlds, my husband proposed to me on the Staten Island ferry in front of the Statue of Liberty.
16. I don’t have tv, x-box, wii or an ipod and I’m doing just fine.
17. I have discovered I actually enjoy blogging.
18. My ideal wedding spot would have been Hawaii…my husband has promised that someday we’ll renew our vows there.
19. I was diagnosed with ADHD three years ago. I am not taking medication for it, and consider it more an exercise in discipline than a disease.
20. I used to work for the 2nd largest food manufacturer in the world and got to taste-test new products before they went to market. You might have some of those items in your pantry right now.
21. I usually have to read myself to sleep.
22. My 21 month old daughter has ridden in a helicopter, but I never have.
23. My husband thinks I became Italian when he married me. I'm not, but I have learned to make a mean Eggplant Parmesan and my Chicken Piccata isn't bad either (Aren't you proud of me, Liz?).
24. I care too much about what people think. My heart's desire is to be more concerned with the approval of God than the approval of man.
25. I know God is real, His Son paid the price for my sin and He loves me. No doubts.

My Personal Dirt Sensor

We purchased a new vacuum last year. Our old one was really old and though it had been faithful it was undoubtedly ready for retirement.

The new vacuum came with plenty of bells and whistles: it is hypoallergenic (good for our asthma issues) and has more attachments than I will ever use. But my favorite feature is the high-tech dirt sensor.

The dirt sensor is a light at the top of the control panel that transitions from red to green as I am vacuuming. When the light turns solid green it means the spot I'm working on is indeed thoroughly clean. I find this especially fascinating when it looks to me like an area is finished, but the sensor says it isn't. So I keep on with my back and forth motions until the indicator light tells me I've completed the job.

With my old vacuum, I would have just moved on leaving the ground in dirt behind, but my new vacuum tells me to stay put for awhile. And when I've finished, my carpet really does look and feel cleaner.

At the risk of oversimplifying, the Holy Spirit is my personal 'dirt sensor.' When I have an attitude or an area in my life I think is cleaned up, the Holy Spirit reminds me that even though it looks good on the surface, I may not be quite clean underneath.

It is in these times that I need to keep pressing; maintaining an awareness of what my Indicator is telling me. If I move on without a thorough cleansing, build-up occurs and ugly spots rise to the surface.

Similar to my vacuuming, a completed task and a 'green light' often takes longer than I want it to. I have to spend more time in certain areas of my heart and it can get frustrating. I'd love to just do a quick sweep and have it all taken care of, but that's not what's best.

The Indicator is helping me and in the long and short of it, I'll be a lot better off. Closer to refinement. Closer to where God wants me to be.

I've started the practice of praying as I vacuum. In those areas of my house where I'm waiting for the dirt sensor light to turn green, I am reminded to pray for the areas of my heart that are still in need of cleansing. In more ways than one, it has made a mundane chore a lot more meaningful...and profitable.

Random Thoughts

A few random Monday morning thoughts...

In keeping with the challenge and revolution, I've decided to pick one thing off the obedience checklist to focus on this week. Of course, I would love for my husband to come to me after a few days and tell me he's noticing a change in my heart and attitude towards him. But even if he doesn't, I am committed to pressing on. After all, this isn't about what God wants to do in my husband, it's about what God wants to do in me.

So, this week, I am choosing "do I seek to affirm him?". I know what I love and appreciate about my husband, but does he know what those things are? This week I am going to make sure he does.

And if you're wanting to join the challenge, it's not too late. Leave a comment and I'll pray for you. This is not going to happen in our own strength. If there's one thing I have learned about marriage, it is that Satan does not want it to succeed. We need prayer and total dependence on the Lord.

Lois over at Walking on Sunshine is spending the week sharing a devotional on the Proverbs 31 woman. It's worth checking out.

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On another note, I was lamenting the change in government last week. Our President has entered office with a seeming determination to "turn the world upside down." He has already made great strides to overturn policies on values I hold dear. This can make me almost fearful.

But I am taking great comfort in Proverbs 21:1, which was, incidentally (or not), the opening verse of the Proverb for January 21st, one day after the inauguration. "The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD, like the rivers of water; He turns it wherever He wishes."

Nothing is out of God's hands.

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Now on to lighter things.

Yesterday Aiden was taking inventory of our family: "There are two boy kids and three girl kids."

In a great homeschooling mom moment, I decided to capitalize on his analysis and make it a math lesson. "How many kids do we have all together, Aiden?"

"A lot."

Out of the mouths of babes...

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And finally. Just what is it about little girls and their mother's (best) lipstick?

Have a great day!

The Faith Hall of Fame

I read Hebrews 11 in a new light this week.

It's easy to read the Bible and the stories of the heroes of our faith and think there was something supernatural about them. To put them on a level somewhere above human. The truth is, they were carnal, sinful, imperfect people just like me. But they had faith. They trusted God's character in spite of the circumstances. And they were rewarded.

There is no reason why it cannot be the same for me. Except that I get in the way.

By Faith We Understand

1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. 2 For by it the elders obtained a good testimony.3 By faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible.

Faith at the Dawn of History

4 By faith Abel offered to God a more excellent sacrifice than Cain, through which he obtained witness that he was righteous, God testifying of his gifts; and through it he being dead still speaks. 5 By faith Enoch was taken away so that he did not see death, “and was not found, because God had taken him”; for before he was taken he had this testimony, that he pleased God. 6 But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. 7 By faith Noah, being divinely warned of things not yet seen, moved with godly fear, prepared an ark for the saving of his household, by which he condemned the world and became heir of the righteousness which is according to faith.

Faithful Abraham

8 By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to the place which he would receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going. 9 By faith he dwelt in the land of promise as in a foreign country, dwelling in tents with Isaac and Jacob, the heirs with him of the same promise; 10 for he waited for the city which has foundations, whose builder and maker is God. 11 By faith Sarah herself also received strength to conceive seed, and she bore a child when she was past the age, because she judged Him faithful who had promised. 12 Therefore from one man, and him as good as dead, were born as many as the stars of the sky in multitude—innumerable as the sand which is by the seashore.

The Heavenly Hope

13 These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off were assured of them, embraced them and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth. 14 For those who say such things declare plainly that they seek a homeland. 15 And truly if they had called to mind that country from which they had come out, they would have had opportunity to return. 16 But now they desire a better, that is, a heavenly country. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them.

The Faith of the Patriarchs

17 By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac, and he who had received the promises offered up his only begotten son, 18 of whom it was said, “In Isaac your seed shall be called,” 19 concluding that God was able to raise him up, even from the dead, from which he also received him in a figurative sense. 20 By faith Isaac blessed Jacob and Esau concerning things to come. 21 By faith Jacob, when he was dying, blessed each of the sons of Joseph, and worshiped, leaning on the top of his staff. 22 By faith Joseph, when he was dying, made mention of the departure of the children of Israel, and gave instructions concerning his bones.

The Faith of Moses

23 By faith Moses, when he was born, was hidden three months by his parents, because they saw he was a beautiful child; and they were not afraid of the king’s command. 24 By faith Moses, when he became of age, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter, 25 choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin, 26 esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt; for he looked to the reward. 27 By faith he forsook Egypt, not fearing the wrath of the king; for he endured as seeing Him who is invisible. 28 By faith he kept the Passover and the sprinkling of blood, lest he who destroyed the firstborn should touch them. 29 By faith they passed through the Red Sea as by dry land, whereas the Egyptians, attempting to do so, were drowned.

By Faith They Overcame

30 By faith the walls of Jericho fell down after they were encircled for seven days. 31 By faith the harlot Rahab did not perish with those who did not believe, when she had received the spies with peace. 32 And what more shall I say? For the time would fail me to tell of Gideon and Barak and Samson and Jephthah, also of David and Samuel and the prophets: 33 who through faith subdued kingdoms, worked righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, 34 quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, became valiant in battle, turned to flight the armies of the aliens. 35 Women received their dead raised to life again. Others were tortured, not accepting deliverance, that they might obtain a better resurrection. 36 Still others had trial of mockings and scourgings, yes, and of chains and imprisonment. 37 They were stoned, they were sawn in two, were tempted, were slain with the sword. They wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, tormented— 38 of whom the world was not worthy. They wandered in deserts and mountains, in dens and caves of the earth. 39 And all these, having obtained a good testimony through faith, did not receive the promise, 40 God having provided something better for us, that they should not be made perfect apart from us.

Hebrews 11

Quote of the Week

Faith is deliberate confidence in the character of God whose ways you may not understand at the time.

Oswald Chambers

Testimony Friday

Two weeks I ago I posted about waiting. I was in a place of waiting. Not so much for some thing, but for a heart change and an attitude adjustment that I desperately needed. I had let the pressures of life build up and lost sight of some truths. This was something I had been trying for months to rectify in my own strength, but to no avail.

My waiting post was an act of surrender. It was a confession to my Lord that I needed Him to do the work in me that I couldn't do myself. He alone could be the transformer of this wicked heart of mine. And do you know what? He did it.

As I sat up late typing that night, a peace swept over my soul. No fireworks, no drama, no instant knowledge of renewal and regeneration. Just a quiet and gentle peace.

When I woke up the next morning, my heart was in a different place. The old stuff wasn't bugging me as much. The will of my flesh had subsided and my spirit was at rest. I realized that my act of surrender was more than words on a page, it had been a true transformation of my heart. God had allowed to me to come to the end of myself, and my SELF was a little more dead than she had been the day before.

All this to proclaim how perfect God's timing is. I had been carrying that big old bag of burden for far too long. I knew it and God knew it. And it was time for me to let that big old bag of burden go. I didn't know that, but God did.

You see, the following afternoon Steve gave me the unexpected news that he will soon be laid off. This month or next, we're not sure, but it's coming. It was a shock. He had been guaranteed work at least through November, so although we knew there was a potential end in sight, it was far enough down the road that we weren't especially concerned.

Well, things change. And that changed.

But it's okay. It really is. And we're okay. There is peace in this house about it. There is peace in our hearts. Oh yes, from time to time we pick up the worry and we begin to fret and stew, but then we remember it really won't help anything and we pray.

We know who our Provider is. So this isn't a bad thing. In fact, we're rather excited to see what God is going to do.

My testimony, however, is this: God dealt with my heart on issues completely unrelated to Steve's job in His perfect timing. He heard the cry of my waiting lamentation and took care of that thing, because only He knew that come tomorrow I was going to have a new thing to give Him. And because He had just proven Himself in that thing, giving Him the new thing wasn't so difficult.

Instead of killing me, it strengthened me. He freed me up and gave me the portion I needed in His amazingly perfect, incredible timing.

And that is the power and love and grace and mercy of our God. He will not give us more than we can bear. His word says it. He is faithful to prove it.

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Matthew 11:28-30

Cast your burden on the LORD, and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.

Psalm 55:22

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

James 1:2-8

A Few Helps

I don't know about you, but I hate reading self-help books that take ten chapters to outline the problem and two chapters to offer vague helps that don't come close to actually helping me solve the problem. This frustrates me because my whole purpose in picking up the book was that I already had a pretty good idea of what the problem was -- what I needed was the help!

Yesterday, I took up my friend Lois's challenge to be more honoring of my husband and invited my readers (all five of you, smile!) to do the same. Then I started thinking about the books I've read and the encouragements I've received along the way to change my old feministic (yes, you read that right, I said feministic!) way of thinking.

A month or so ago, I mentioned a Titus 2 women's group that I attend. Last fall when she was exhorting us to be obedient to our husbands (Titus 2:5), our beloved teacher Pamela gave us this checklist to help us measure how "honoring" we really are. I thought I'd pass it along as a possible help:

Obedience Checklist
Do I remember his requests?
Do I make excuses?
Am I seeking to be reverent?
Am I seeking to be helpful?
Do I forget him?
Do I seek to do him good and not evil all of his days?
Do I seek to love him?
Do I seek to bear all things with him?
Do I seek to be hopeful toward him?
Do I treat him as the lord of my home and life?
Am I trustworthy?
Do I withhold myself from him?
Do I roll my eyes at him?
Do I seek to affirm him?
Do I badmouth him anywhere?
Do I murmur in my heart against him?
Do I complain about him to others?
Do I mock him?
Do I listen to him or do I tune him out?
Do I prefer him? Does he know it?
Do I pray for him?
Am I helping him or hindering him?

Yes, a few of these hit me pretty hard, but that's a good thing. Knowing where I am falling short helps me see where I need to grow, what I need to change, and who I need to become. I keep this list in my Bible. At first I was reviewing it every morning and it was a good reminder of where my priorities need to be at the beginning (and end!) of each day. I have to start doing that again.

I also highly recommend three books: The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace, Created to be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl, and The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger (you can read more on this one here).

And of course, the Bible. The more I'm in God's Word, the more I'm challenged to be the person He wants me to be and strive for the character He wants me to have (amazing how that works, isn't it?).

As wives, we have the awesome privilege of creating the atmosphere in our homes. And I don't mean decorating. One of my favorite pastors used to say, "You can be the thermostat or the thermometer. Do you want to set the tone or do you want to reflect it? The choice is yours."

A Challenge In Respect

God’s will for every Christian wife is that her most important ministry be to her husband (Genesis 2:18). After a wife’s own personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, nothing else should have greater priority. Her husband should be the primary benefactor of his wife’s time and energy, not the recipient of what may be left over at the end of the day. Whether her husband is a faithful Christian manor an unbeliever, God wants every Christian woman to be a godly wife -- an excellent wife. ~ Martha Peace ~

We live in a culture that does not believe this! Husbands are portrayed as annoying, tv watching, good for nothing idiots who add little to the family as a whole. This is simply not true, and yet it's what society is screaming for us to believe.

Well, we're not buying it in this house! My husband works his tail off for our family. HE is usually the one falling into bed at night. After being gone for 14 hours and working all day, he comes home thinking of his family first. He challenges us to good conversation at dinner, leads us in family devotions, tucks the kids into bed and then asks what else he can do for me! He helps with dishes, folds laundry, changes light bulbs and listens to me vent about my day before he even thinks about relaxing. And that's just the beginning.

Is he perfect? No way! (Sorry, Honey!) I could make a laundry list of his weaknesses, but what would that help? He knows them better than I do.

In the last year or so, God has been pressing me to be a more honoring wife. To be better at appreciating and respecting my husband. Contrary to the messages we hear, the Bible's mandate for me to respect my husband is no less conditional than his command to unconditionally love me (Ephesians 5). He doesn't have to earn it and I don't have to feel it!

The more I encourage my husband by honoring him (rather than nagging him!), the more he becomes the head of household I need him to be. My motivation can't be selfish, but the end result certainly benefits me.

My friend Lois issued a year-long challenge on her blog today: "I want my husband to be my most important ministry. Not what I do in church, not my job, and (GASP) not my children. My husband is my precious gift and how I handle that gift reflects on the attitude of this household. So this will be my goal for the year. To truly put my husband in the place God intended all husbands to be...at the head of our household. "

So, I'm taking up the challenge, and encourage you to do the same. I know what I should be doing, but I can certainly do a better job of actually doing what I should I be doing!

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:22-24

the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— 4 that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. Titus 2:3-5

Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. Proverbs 31:10-12

Sinless?

We subscribe to a monthly publication called God's World News: Early Edition for the kids. It's full of current events articles tailored to their ages and understanding. It has been a great way for us to introduce them to what's happening in the world around them from a Biblical perspective.

I finally sat down to look through the January issue today. I was startled by what I read in the editor's note to parents on the first page:

Most British schoolchildren carry a copy of the Oxford Junior Dictionary to use in their public school classrooms. Now the latest edition of that work has dropped hundreds of words linked to Christianity, the monarchy, British history, and nature.

Coronation, decade, duchess, duke, emperor, empire, and monarch have been erased. The publishers also believe the children's lexicon has little use for words like beaver, cheetah, goldfish, lobster, oyster, panther and spaniel.

The Oxford University Press says that a dictionary should "evolve to reflect that fact that Britain is a modern, multicultural, multi-faith society." So abbey, bishop, chapel, devil, disciple, monk, nun, psalm, saint and sin have also been removed.

Words like analog, blog, celebrity, chatroom and voicemail are now included in the dictionary instead.

Oxford University Press, with the help of lexicographers and teachers, analyzed millions of words. They looked at children's books to see how frequently words were used, before making a decision on an addition or deletion.

....The story underscores the importance of what you do as you teach your children to look at everything through the lens of God's word. (emphasis mine)

Is it just me, or is this alarming?

I am shocked that the authors of a British dictionary would not find it relevant to provide a definition for the word monarch. Why is it unimportant to define a decade? And can you hear it: "Mommy, what is that little orange thing swimming in the bowl called?" "Well, I don't know dear, there's no longer definition for it."

And of course I am most disturbed, but sadly find it less surprising, that the words devil and SIN have also been deemed unnecessary. As if, by omitting the words, the truth can also be denied.

This is how subtle and crafty our culture has become in an effort to wipe out truth. I mean really, just how many parents do you think are perusing their children's dictionaries at night to see which words have been omitted? But it's happening. And if it can happen in a first world western civilization like Britain, don't think it can't happen here in our beloved "land of the free."

Which reminds me that today is inauguration day. We don't have tv, so I won't be able to watch the ceremonies. But from what I've read and the buzz I've heard, many of the festivities and events of the day are a grievous departure from what was once a government based on Biblical principles. Seems more like a reflection of the "modern, multicultural, multi-faith" (translate SIN-less?) society America has become.

God help us.

For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes, for the Jew first and also for the Greek. For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written, “The just shall live by faith."

For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, because what may be known of God is manifest in them, for God has shown it to them.

For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse, because, although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened.

Professing to be wise, they became fools, and changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made like corruptible man—and birds and four-footed animals and creeping things.

Therefore God also gave them up to uncleanness, in the lusts of their hearts, to dishonor their bodies among themselves, who exchanged the truth of God for the lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.

For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due.

And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting; being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, undiscerning, untrustworthy, unloving, unforgiving, unmerciful; who, knowing the righteous judgment of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them.

Romans 1:16-32 (NKJV)

They're Watching Me

Those little ones we care so much about and whose hearts we work so hard to fill with "good things"...

I am again reminded that it's the day-to-day stuff that makes the biggest impression...

Quote of the Week

What one generation tolerates, the next generation will embrace.

John Wesley

Smiles

Lydia is smiling a lot. We can just look at her or say her name and her whole face lights up. She has been a difficult baby to please, so seeing her eyes and nose crinkle and her little mouth make that joyful upward turn is incredibly rewarding.

It is so fun to watch her respond to her brothers and sisters. She squeaked out a giggle yesterday and had them all laughing in hysterics. Who needs tv when you have entertainment like this?

Sigourney is especially enamored with "her" baby. She loves to hold her and give her great big bear hugs, all supervised of course (except for that time she pulled Lydia off the bed, but I digress...). Sigourney puts her face so close Lydia's that it makes her cross-eyed. She then says "yi-ya" to get the desired result and bursts into her own giggles. They do this repeatedly and I've got to tell you, it makes a mama smile too!

Lydia doesn't crawl or walk or pick things up yet. She doesn't have teeth and hasn't started on solid foods, but she's smiling. Coincidental? I don't think so. What I do think is that smiling must be pretty important to God.

He will yet fill your mouth with laughing, and your lips with rejoicing. Job 8:21

We're Learning!

In the last few weeks, AJ has taken off with his reading. He is picking out his own books and just sitting down to read them. He even offered to read to his brother and sisters the other night (see picture...and yes, I did notice that Aiden's book is upside down, but we're working on it!). He is so proud of himself and just wants to read, read, read!

I have several Mennonite early readers that he's working with, so not only is he reading, he's reading about God and creation, not Dick and Jane. He's learning Biblical truth, our values are being reinforced, and ultimately he'll be able to read the most important book of all -- the Bible!

This is especially encouraging and significant to me because Steve and I are the ones teaching him. For me, one of the scariest things about homeschooling is the fear that our children will not learn what they need to learn and it will be all our fault! We don't have anyone else to blame. I don't mean to step on toes, but for me it was much easier just to send them to school and have them come home "learned."

He struggled last year in kindergarten with his reading. It just wasn't clicking for him. No matter how hard he tried or how much he practiced. I know he was discouraged and it was especially difficult when he compared himself to other kids in his class who were ahead of him.

Having him home has been so healthy. He doesn't have anyone to compare himself to and when he gets it, he really gets it. He's able to learn at his own pace without feeling like he's not smart enough. And then, at times like these, when all the dots connect, he pushes forward and wants to do more, more, more. And he can, because it's our thing and there's no one else to consider.

One of the greatest rewards of teaching our children at home has been to watch their learning process and its progression. When we start a new concept I can actually see it take shape in their minds and when they conquer it, we get to celebrate! I get to see AJ go from sounding out 'te-he-eh-em', to putting the 'th' together in a blend, to learning it as a sight word and just sailing through and reading "them." Last year when he and Avery were at school, they'd come home understanding and talking about new things, but I had no idea how they got there. Now I do and it's exciting!

God is giving me the strength and vision I never thought I would have to teach my kids at home. I'd be lying if I said it was easy. I have a lot of life to juggle around here, but it's worth it. And in the process, I'm working myself out of a job, because I have a new bedtime-story-reader in the house!

My Little Buddy

I guess it's Aiden's spotlight week.

He's growing out of his naps. Don't get me wrong, he'll still take a nap, but it's better for all of us if he doesn't. When I let him sleep during the day, he's up until way too late at night. For my personal sanity and mommy happiness, my kids need to be bedded down by 8:30 at the latest.

The problem with this is that by 4:00 in the afternoon he's crashing! The whining, antagonizing and overall can't-seem-to-cope-with-life levels hit the roof. I remember AJ and Avery going through this transitional stage and I know we'll survive, but I don't like it any more now than I did then!

This afternoon was especially trying because he's not feeling great. As we approached that seemingly magical four o'clock hour, I was sitting on the couch feeding Lydia (yes, I do sit down occasionally!). My little buddy approached me with open arms and those big brown eyes that I could just drown in. "Mommy, I hold you?," he begged. For those who have passed or not yet entered this stage, I hold you is two year old speak for "will you hold me?" Simple pronoun confusion, but oh, so cute!

He crawled up in my lap and, I am not exaggerating here, within 30 seconds I felt him relax and just melt. He was out. Zonked. Sound asleep. It was the best feeling in the world to know that he could just let it all go and totally relax into oblivion while I held him. The most wonderful of mommy pleasures. I forced myself to sit with him awhile longer and just enjoy his sweet smell before I put him in his bed. These snippets of time don't come often enough and when they do they pass much too quickly.

Of course, there was a steady pitter-patter of feet up and down the stairs until nearly eleven o'clock tonight, but on a day like today it was absolutely worth it!

Heard at Our House Today...

Aiden is trying his best to digest all that he's learning from our Bible teachings. However, angels and a worldwide flood are a little complicated for a two year old to understand.

During our recent snow the kids spent lots of time falling backwards and making snow angels all over the yard. This morning Aiden was standing on our bed and flopped himself backwards. After waving his arms for a moment, he stood up and said: "Look, Mom, I made a 'snow Jesus'!"

And another one (thanks for humoring me!)...

We were talking recently about Noah and God's plan to destroy the people of his day with the great flood. The kids were especially taken by the fact that only eight people survived in the ark.

Although we weren't personally affected by the Western Washington flooding this week, our neighboring town and many of its surrounding farms were. We didn't venture out while Steve was in New York, so our trip to church this morning was our first outing since the waters crested the river that separates our island from the mainland.

As we were getting ready to leave, Steve said, "C'mon guys, let's get going so we have time to see the floods."

Aiden was very concerned by this and looked at his dad imploringly, "No, Dad, I don't want to die!"

Guess we have a little more teaching to do!

Quote of the Week

My children love this one...

Obedience is doing what you're told, when you're told, with a respectful attitude. Anything less is not obedience.

Voddie Baucham

Testimony Friday

Steve is in New York for a few days visiting family and attending his grandmother's funeral. I miss him.

Not just because he isn't here to rescue me at the end of a crazy day. Not just because he isn't here to help with dishes and do our nightly devotions. Not just because I'm bored and wishing for some adult conversation after the kids are settled in bed. Although in all these areas I do miss him.

The real reason I miss him is because he truly is my better half and my better part is absent.

I remember the stormy years of our marriage when he was traveling every week for work. At the time, that job was a God-send. He'd fly out first thing Monday morning and come home late Wednesday or Thursday night. Friday was usually good, Saturday would be shaky, and by Sunday I was anxious for Monday so he'd leave again. We didn't get along well enough to handle being together more than three days a week!

How faithful God has been. How much He has restored. Now, he's been gone less than 24 hours and I can't wait for him to come home!

I'm thankful for the reminder of how far we've come. So often, when I get to a new place in life, I forget about the old place. I start to feel stagnant and begin to believe that nothing ever changes. The truth is, I'm always changing. For better or worse, change is taking place.

It's good to look back and see how God's hand has moved. How much things have changed. I am so very grateful that life is not the way it used to be. In Christ, there is always hope.

Applesauce

Saturday morning Avery and I tackled the 40 pounds of apples that had been sitting in our garage waiting to become applesauce. I'd been putting it off because I've never canned on my own before. I watched my mom when I was growing up, but I don't remember helping her. My aunt and I canned jam a few summers ago but I did more observing than actual work. Doing it on my own was a little intimidating, so I recruited my best helper.

When I got married I hardly knew how to boil an egg. I am determined to make sure Avery is more prepared than I was, so I try to include her in as many of my household responsibilities as possible. And you know what? She loves it! She's good at it! And she's actually helping to lessen my load!

She wanted to be involved in every step of the process, so I let her do everything but transfer the boiling applesauce into the hot jars.

She peeled...

She chopped...

She recruited (and critiqued) help...

She prepped jars (and graciously shared her spare apron with her little brother!)...

She stirred...

She called for quality control...

And supervision...

And the best part...she tasted...YUMMY!!!...

Taking pride in the finished product...

Every jar sealed and we were so excited. We ended up with 12 quarts of applesauce and had so much fun that we decided next year we want to do a lot more!

While I'm Waiting

I put this song on repeat while I was in the car today. I must have played it ten times or more. It speaks to where I am: in the midst of a valley. It also speaks to where I want to be: "mov(ing) ahead bold and confident; taking every step in obedience." Faithfully waiting.

The details and specifics are unimportant, but the pain of the valley is real. I feel dry and parched and tired. A friend of mine refers to times like these as a "crisis of belief." She defines it as believing what you believe until you don't believe it anymore. It's that simple. I believe it, I know it's true, but now I just don't know if I can keep believing it. It's too hard. It hurts too much. And doesn't God know it.

He knows the circumstances, the disappointment, the discouragement. He knows when I'm trusting Him and when I try to take matters into my own hands. I know I'll come out on the other side. God will get the victory in this area of my life, but it doesn't make the waiting any less hard.

But I am waiting. I'm expecting to get to the other side. I've tried to get there in my own strength and failed. I've seen the height and breadth of the mountains that surround and felt the consuming doubt. But I'm finally coming to the point of surrender. The surrender is leaving my will in the valley so I'm not carrying the baggage of it over the mountain. If I don't unload, it will drag me down and hold me back.

Why is surrender so difficult? I've seen God move enough mountains in my life to know that He will move this one too. It's not that I doubt Him, I just want it to look different. And I want it to be faster. And when it doesn't and isn't, I don't want to surrender.

I am so guilty of praying about something and trusting for it until I think it's been long enough. I reach the point where I think I've given God the time He needs and that should be the end of it. Then I either move on to the next thing or I take over this thing. Either way I lose.

So I have resolved to surrender. I'm turning it over. No matter how long it takes. No matter what it looks like. No matter the outcome. God will be victorious. He wants the victories in my life more than I do because the victories are what bring Him glory.

So I 'm in wait mode. And, in the past, when I've had to wait for something, my belief has become stronger. It's become deeper. It's become real. He doesn't promise it will be easy.

Steve shared some verses in Mark chapter 9 with me the other night. I've read the story many times, but this time it spoke to where I am today. It's where the man brings his demon possessed son to Jesus for healing. In verse 23, Jesus says to him, "If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes." To which the man replies, "Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!" (emphasis mine). The man confessed his struggle to believe and still, Jesus healed his son.

This is so reassuring to me. God does not require that I have all my belief issues worked out, He will minister to me regardless. And He will help me in my unbelief.

So I'm waiting. And as my favorite refrain in this song states "I will serve (Him) while I'm waiting, I will worship while I'm waiting..." That seems like a pretty good place to start.

Quote of the Week

I have come to the conclusion that none of us in our generation feels as guilty about sin as we should or as our forefathers did.

Francis Schaeffer

New Years on the Lanes

New Years' Day was low-key for us. Actually, there's no such thing as "low-key" at our house, but you get the idea. We ventured to the local bowling alley and took on the lanes...

This would be a "spare" pose (there were two more to follow)...

AJ takes bowling, as most things in life, very seriously...

Avery, not so much...for her, it's all about the shoes...

And besides, just what is a spare anyway?...

We love ramps and bumpers...

And Aiden is such a little sport...

Even Sigourney got in on the action...hmmm...which ball will I chose?...

Yep, this one's good...

Where's it going?...

The thumb definitely helps...

Did I do that?...

But it's Dad who shows us how it's really done...

Of course, we brought our own cheering squad...

Happy New Year!

Looking Back

Today I sit and reflect on 2008 and anticipate the changes we are looking forward to in 2009. I didn't get a Christmas letter out this year, but if I had, the summary of our year would look something like this:

January got us off to a great start. Avery broke her foot (as AJ had just 6 months before...we're all for helping the local podiatrist feed his family!)...well, actually Aiden broke her foot, but we'll leave it at that. Sigourney and Avery both got pneumonia (again, we love keeping our physicians employed!) and we were down for most of the month!

February was much better. We cashed in the remainder of Steve's frequent flier miles and spent 10 glorious days on Maui with my parents. Three years of non-stop travel had to benefit us somehow! AJ lost his first tooth (the first without the help of a dentist anyway!) on the Road to Hana and Sigourney loved crawling in, and occasionally eating, the sand. We whale watched and body surfed and spent lots of time just hanging out on the beach. On the plane trip home, we decided we were glad we'd used the last of our miles because four kids on a plane for six hours was not an experience we wanted to repeat any time soon!

In March Aiden turned two. He'd been acting like he was two for quite awhile, but finally made it official! Cars, trucks, and anything with wheels are hands-down favorites. We find them in his bed, in the shower, in the pantry...just follow the Matchbox trail, and there Aiden will be. He does an amazing job keeping up with his older brother and sister and emphatically states that he is "not a baby, 'Gourney is a baby." With March also came the announcement that a new Somma would soon be arriving.

April was a big month. Sigourney turned one on the 6th and had a grand mal seizure on the 13th. What a way to celebrate a birthday -- she even got an airlift out of the deal. You can read more about her experience and prognosis here. A week after her seizure ordeal we attended a homeschool conference that radically changed our perspective on our childrens' education and the calling God had for us in their lives. We knew it was His timing and we heard Him loud and clear. Being faced with the possibility of loosing a child made us realize we don't have a moment to waste.

May brought Sigourney's second grand mal seizure and subsequent epilepsy diagnosis. We were so thankful to finally have an answer and to get her on medication. Thankfully, from a grand mal standpoint, she has been seizure free.

In June we celebrated AJ and Avery's 6th and 5th birthdays and Grandpa Joe visited from Florida. AJ is into riding his bike, playing baseball in the backyard, and donning his army gear to go find "bad guys" in the woods. Avery is into all things feminine as she refuses to wear pants, loves to help mom in the kitchen, and hosts fabulous tea parties for her siblings, her friends and anyone else who stops in for a visit.

July and August were pretty disappointing weather-wise, but we spent as much time as possible at our local parks and beaches. Avery taught herself to ride her bike without training wheels (in a dress of course!), Sigourney started walking and Aiden got a clean bill of health from his surgeon. The portion of his lung that was removed when he was three months old is regenerating as expected. By the time he is seven, when looking at an x-ray an untrained eye will never know it was missing.

September brought my sister Erin's outdoor wedding on what seemed like the rainiest day of the year. Avery and her cousin Shae were "flower fairies" and the nephews were cowboys. It was a race to the finish as we took bets on what would come first, the wedding or the baby...fortunately the wedding won. We also began our homeschool adventure with AJ in first grade and Avery in kindergarten.

Lydia Rose joined us October 6th. Another quick delivery and a precious baby girl. Avery was thrilled to have a blue-eyed sister and once AJ held her in his arms, he got over his disappointment at not having another brother. Lydia is the recipient of much love and affection at our house; she has lots of baby-holders, and a couple of diaper changers. She is our loudest crier yet, but we have concluded that it is probably the only way she knows she'll be heard.

In November, Steve started work on a new project in an exclusive Seattle neighborhood. We are thankful for people with large trust funds who continue to build houses in this rough market. His commute is long, but I think he secretly enjoys the peace and quiet of his truck for three hours a day!

Our church also went through a significant restructuring in November, and a group of us is now meeting in the home of dear friends. It definitely doesn't look like church as we have known it, but we are seeing God move mightily. It has been a wonderful environment for our family as we are building stronger relationships. We are coming to understand that our spiritual discipleship and growth should not be left to a church on Sundays, but should be taking place all week long within the walls of our home. It has been an exciting journey.

December brought with it one of the biggest and most fun snowfalls the NW has seen in a long time. We ended up with over 20 inches at our house! While the typical snow pattern here is snow one day and rain the next, we saw continued snowfall for almost two weeks. The kids spent lots of time sledding down the hill in front of our house, and Steve brought his New York snow experience into the mix by building them the coolest fort in the neighborhood.

Christmas Eve we spent with my family. My cousin Seth was home from Iraq and joined us with his twin girls, so we had 22 people, twelve of them children and ten of those under the age of eight! It was pretty crazy!

Christmas Day was one of the best ever as we spent it with some dear friends. We ate great food, sang carols, read scripture and the kids put on a spectacular Christmas story performance.

Also, in December I shocked friends and family by starting this blog. I have found it a great way to share what God is doing in my heart and life and home. As I write, I realize that although I am easily discouraged with myself and the growth I would like to be making, the Lord continues to mold, shape and refine me.

The year of 2008 was a blessed one for the Somma household. The life we experienced stimulated growth and dependence on God in ways we would have otherwise never imagined. We look forward to 2009 and anticipate the changes it, too, will bring, being confident in this:

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly more than we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen

Ephesians 3:20-21