Motherhood Is a Calling (And Where Your Children Rank)

A few years ago, when I just had four children and when the oldest was still three, I loaded them all up to go on a walk. After the final sippy cup had found a place and we were ready to go, my two-year-old turned to me and said, “Wow! You have your hands full!”

She could have just as well said, “Don’t you know what causes that?” or “Are they all yours?!”

Everywhere you go, people want to talk about your children. Why you shouldn’t have had them, how you could have prevented them, and why they would never do what you have done. They want to make sure you know that you won’t be smiling anymore when they are teenagers. All this at the grocery store, in line, while your children listen.

A Rock-Bottom Job?

The truth is that years ago, before this generation of mothers was even born, our society decided where children rank in the list of important things. When abortion was legalized, we wrote it into law.

Children rank way below college. Below world travel for sure. Below the ability to go out at night at your leisure. Below honing your body at the gym. Below any job you may have or hope to get. In fact, children rate below your desire to sit around and pick your toes, if that is what you want to do. Below everything. Children are the last thing you should ever spend your time doing.

If you grew up in this culture, it is very hard to get a biblical perspective on motherhood, to think like a free Christian woman about your life, your children. How much have we listened to partial truths and half lies? Do we believe that we want children because there is some biological urge, or the phantom “baby itch”? Are we really in this because of cute little clothes and photo opportunities? Is motherhood a rock-bottom job for those who can’t do more, or those who are satisfied with drudgery? If so, what were we thinking?

It's Not a Hobby

Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.

Christian mothers carry their children in hostile territory. When you are in public with them, you are standing with, and defending, the objects of cultural dislike. You are publicly testifying that you value what God values, and that you refuse to value what the world values. You stand with the defenseless and in front of the needy. You represent everything that our culture hates, because you represent laying down your life for another—and laying down your life for another represents the gospel.

Our culture is simply afraid of death. Laying down your own life, in any way, is terrifying. Strangely, it is that fear that drives the abortion industry: fear that your dreams will die, that your future will die, that your freedom will die—and trying to escape that death by running into the arms of death.

Run to the Cross

But a Christian should have a different paradigm. We should run to to the cross. To death. So lay down your hopes. Lay down your future. Lay down your petty annoyances. Lay down your desire to be recognized. Lay down your fussiness at your children. Lay down your perfectly clean house. Lay down your grievances about the life you are living. Lay down the imaginary life you could have had by yourself. Let it go.

Death to yourself is not the end of the story. We, of all people, ought to know what follows death. The Christian life is resurrection life, life that cannot be contained by death, the kind of life that is only possible when you have been to the cross and back.

The Bible is clear about the value of children. Jesus loved them, and we are commanded to love them, to bring them up in the nurture of the Lord. We are to imitate God and take pleasure in our children.

The Question Is How

The question here is not whether you are representing the gospel, it is how you are representing it. Have you given your life to your children resentfully? Do you tally every thing you do for them like a loan shark tallies debts? Or do you give them life the way God gave it to us—freely?

It isn’t enough to pretend. You might fool a few people. That person in line at the store might believe you when you plaster on a fake smile, but your children won’t. They know exactly where they stand with you. They know the things that you rate above them. They know everything you resent and hold against them. They know that you faked a cheerful answer to that lady, only to whisper threats or bark at them in the car.

Children know the difference between a mother who is saving face to a stranger and a mother who defends their life and their worth with her smile, her love, and her absolute loyalty.

Hands Full of Good Things

When my little girl told me, “Your hands are full!” I was so thankful that she already knew what my answer would be. It was the same one that I always gave: “Yes they are—full of good things!”

Live the gospel in the things that no one sees. Sacrifice for your children in places that only they will know about. Put their value ahead of yours. Grow them up in the clean air of gospel living. Your testimony to the gospel in the little details of your life is more valuable to them than you can imagine. If you tell them the gospel, but live to yourself, they will never believe it. Give your life for theirs every day, joyfully. Lay down pettiness. Lay down fussiness. Lay down resentment about the dishes, about the laundry, about how no one knows how hard you work.

Stop clinging to yourself and cling to the cross. There is more joy and more life and more laughter on the other side of death than you can possibly carry alone.

Rachel Jankovic is a wife, homemaker, and mother. She is the author of "Loving the Little Years" and blogs at Femina. Her husband is Luke, and they have five children: Evangeline (5), Daphne (4), Chloe (2), Titus (2), and Blaire (5 months).

Article reprinted in it's entirety from DesiringGod.org

Motherhood as a Missionfield

This article is such a good reminder for those of us who are at home caring for our families day in and day out...sometimes remembering, sometimes wondering about, sometimes dreaming of the scenery that is outside our four walls. What's going on inside our four walls is of monumental significance...

Motherhood as a Mission Field
June 16, 2011 by Rachel Jankovic

There is a good old saying, perhaps only said by my Grandfather, that distance adds intrigue. It is certainly true — just think back to anything that has ever been distant from you that is now near. Your driver’s license. Marriage. Children. Things that used to seem so fascinating, but as they draw near become less mystical and more, well, real.

This same principle certainly applies to mission fields too. The closer you get to home, the less intriguing the work of sacrifice seems. As someone once said, “Everyone wants to save the world, but no one wants to help Mom with the dishes.” When you are a mother at home with your children, the church is not clamoring for monthly ministry updates. When you talk to other believers, there is not any kind of awe about what you are sacrificing for the gospel. People are not pressing you for needs you might have, how they can pray for you. It does not feel intriguing, or glamorous. Your work is normal, because it is as close to home as you can possibly be. You have actually gone so far as to become home.

Home: The Headwaters of Mission

If you are a Christian woman who loves the Lord, the gospel is important to you. It is easy to become discouraged, thinking that the work you are doing does not matter much. If you were really doing something for Christ you would be out there, somewhere else, doing it. Even if you have a great perspective on your role in the kingdom, it is easy to lose sight of it in the mismatched socks, in the morning sickness, in the dirty dishes. It is easy to confuse intrigue with value, and begin viewing yourself as the least valuable part of the Church.

There are a number of ways in which mothers need to study their own roles, and begin to see them, not as boring and inconsequential, but as home, the headwaters of missions.

At the very heart of the gospel is sacrifice, and there is perhaps no occupation in the world so intrinsically sacrificial as motherhood. Motherhood is a wonderful opportunity to live the gospel. Jim Elliot famously said, “He is no fool who gives up that which he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.” Motherhood provides you with an opportunity to lay down the things that you cannot keep on behalf of the people that you cannot lose. They are eternal souls, they are your children, they are your mission field.

Faith Makes the Small Offering Great

If you are like me, then you may be thinking “What did I ever give up for them? A desk job? Time at the gym? Extra spending money? My twenty- year- old figure? Some sleep?” Doesn’t seem like much when you put it next to the work of some of the great missionaries, people who gave their lives for the gospel.

Think about the feeding of the five thousand when the disciples went out and rounded up the food that was available. It wasn’t much. Some loaves. Some fish. Think of some woman pulling her fish out and handing it to one of the disciples. That had to have felt like a small offering. But the important thing about those loaves and those fishes was not how big they were when they were given, it was about whose hands they were given into. In the hands of the Lord, that offering was sufficient. It was more than sufficient. There were leftovers. Given in faith, even a small offering becomes great.

Look at your children in faith, and see how many people will be ministered to by your ministering to them. How many people will your children know in their lives? How many grandchildren are represented in the faces around your table now?
Gain What You Cannot Lose in Them

So, if mothers are strategically situated to impact missions so greatly, why do we see so little coming from it? I think the answer to this is quite simple: sin. Discontent, pettiness, selfishness, resentment. Christians often feel like the right thing to do is to be ashamed about what we have. We hear that quote of Jim Elliot’s and think that we ought to sell our homes and move to some place where they need the gospel.

But I’d like to challenge you to look at it differently. Giving up what you cannot keep does not mean giving up your home, or your job so you can go serve somewhere else. It is giving up yourself. Lay yourself down. Sacrifice yourself here, now. Cheerfully wipe the nose for the fiftieth time today. Make dinner again for the people who don’t like the green beans. Laugh when your plans are thwarted by a vomiting child. Lay yourself down for the people here with you, the people who annoy you, the people who get in your way, the people who take up so much of your time that you can’t read anymore. Rejoice in them. Sacrifice for them. Gain that which you cannot lose in them.

It is easy to think you have a heart for orphans on the other side of the world, but if you spend your time at home resenting the imposition your children are on you, you do not. You cannot have a heart for the gospel and a fussiness about your life at the same time. You will never make any difference there if you cannot be at peace here. You cannot have a heart for missions, but not for the people around you. A true love of the gospel overflows and overpowers. It will be in everything you do, however drab, however simple, however repetitive.

God loves the little offerings. Given in faith, that plate of PB&J’s will feed thousands. Given in faith, those presents on Christmas morning will bring delight to more children than you can count. Offered with thankfulness, your work at home is only the beginning. Your laundry pile, selflessly tackled daily, will be used in the hands of God to clothe many. Do not think that your work does not matter. In God’s hands, it will be broken, and broken, and broken again, until all who have need of it have eaten and are satisfied. And even then, there will be leftovers.

Rachel Jankovic is a wife, homemaker, and mother. She is the author of "Loving the Little Years" and blogs at Femina. Her husband is Luke, and they have five children: Evangeline (5), Daphne (4), Chloe (2), Titus (2), and Blaire (5 months).

This post has been copied, in it's entirety, from the Desiring God blog.

Ode to My Life...

If You Give a Mom a Muffin

Written by Kathy Fictorie
Based on If You Give a Moose a Cookie by Laura Numeroff

If you give a mom a muffin,

She'll want a cup of coffee to go with it.

So she'll pour herself some.

The coffee will get spilled by her three year old.

She'll wipe it up.

Wiping the floor, she will find some dirty socks.

She'll remember she has to do some laundry.

When she puts the laundry in the washer,

She'll trip over some snow boots and bump into the freezer.

Bumping into the freezer will remind her she has to plan supper for tonight.

She will get out a pound of hamburger.

She'll look for her cookbook. (101 Things To Make With a Pound of

Hamburger.)

The cookbook is sitting under a pile of mail.

She will see the phone bill which is due tomorrow.

She will look for the checkbook.

The checkbook is in her purse that is being dumped out by her two year old.

She'll smell something funny.

She'll change the two year old.

While she is changing the two year old the phone will ring. (Of course!)

Her five year old will answer it and hang up.

She remembers that she wants to phone a friend to come over for coffee on Friday.

Thinking of coffee will remind her that she was going to have a cup.

She will pour herself some.

And chances are,

If she has a cup of coffee,

Her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it.

Pajama Party!!

Last month our church hosted a marriage conference with Kent and Barbara Hughes . They shared a wealth of knowledge and information about how to be a family of excellence, creating moments of joy, and ultimately bringing glory to the Lord.

They gave really practical suggestions we could go home and implement without requiring huge amounts of change or overwhelming execution. And so, one of the Hughes' great ideas was The Pajama Party.

Mr. Right and I were excited to 'host' a party. First, we explained to the kids what a Pajama Party is; it can happen any time, so they always need to be ready. In order for a Pajama Party to take place, all children must have gotten to bed with relative ease and need to be settling down quietly.

Next, when Daddy decides it's an appropriate night for a Pajama Party, he makes the anticipated announcement (in his own pajamas of course!): "P-A-J-A-M-A Party!!" (This is best done in a New York accent, but obviously not everyone has this option!), at which point all children leap out of bed, grab their pillows, robes and slippers and make for the front door.

Finally, after everyone is buckled in, Daddy drives to the party destination, which remains a surprise until arrival, and the rest is about making a memory.

Our first Pajama Party was to the local Dairy Queen. When we arrived, all the chairs had already been placed on the tables in anticipation of closing time. Mr. Right checked with the girl at the register before hauling his troops in to the restaurant. He explained his mission and she was so excited for us! Can you just imagine the scene as a Mommy and Daddy in their pj's, followed by six not-so-sleepy children in their pj's, placed orders for their favorite ice cream treat? In fact, as we were watching the clock in an effort to respect closing, the manager came out and said, "No, please stay as long as you want!" (we didn't!). Oh, what fun!! Even Spider-Girl got her first taste of ice cream. I wish I'd had my camera...

Our second Pajama Party was just last week. We pre-arranged with Grandpa and Grandma, who had recently returned from a trip to Yellowstone, to invade their house for a slide show of their pictures. They were such great sports as they greeted us at the door in their pajamas! Grandma even made cupcakes and had popcorn waiting.

Lovin' those elk pics!!

And they want their next Pajama Party to be to Yellowstone!!

Popcorn remnants on the rug and a sleeping Davy Crockett, what better way to end a party?

We can't wait for our next Pajama Party. Some ideas for future themes are as simple as banana splits and a card game at home, a late night trip to Krispy Kreme, and meeting up with another family for a movie.

One fun story Kent Hughes shared was of the night they took their kids to Dairy Queen and then, as they were driving across town, he pulled into another DQ and announced "Seconds!" Our kids' tummies aren't quite big enough for that yet, but someday they will be...

The possibilities are endless, and so too, we hope, will be the memories!

No Grace for "What If"

I know I'm not supposed to be anxious for anything and that tomorrow's worries will take care for themselves, but so often I'm anxious about everything, including tomorrow, and next week, and next month, and twenty years from now...

I loved this post by Carolyn Mahaney on the Girltalk blog. Carolyn and her daughters are currently in the midst of a series called "When Worries Multiply." And don't I know something about that, but Carolyn hits it practically, biblically and reassuringly...

What do our mothering fears have in common? They are all in our imagination.

Our fertile minds generate countless scenarios whereby one calamity or another befalls our children: What if my son rebels when he hits the teenage years? What if my daughter doesn’t want to be my friend when she grows up? What if my son gets in a car accident? What if my daughter is diagnosed with leukemia?

After thirty-four years of mothering, I’ve discovered that most of the bad things I imagined never actually came true. But there have been other trials—ones I never anticipated.

That’s why Elisabeth Elliot’s wise advice has been invaluable to me in fighting fear: “There is no grace for your imagination.”

God does not sprinkle grace over every path my fear takes. He does not rush in with support and encouragement for every doomsday scenario I can imagine.

No, instead He warns me to stay off those paths: “Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil” (Ps. 37:8).

There is no grace for our imagination. That’s why our fearful imaginings produce bad fruit: anxiety, lack of joy, futile attempts to control.

There is no grace for our imagination. But God does promise sufficient, abundant grace for every real moment of our lives. That’s why the Proverbs 31 woman can “laugh at the future in contrast with being worried or fearful about it” (ESV Study Bible note on Pr. 31:25)

There is no grace for our imagination. But there will be grace for our mothering future--the moment it arrives.

Count it ALL Joy...

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds. James 1:2

"Life is full of hidden rocks, sudden violent winds of circumstances lying in wait for the believer. Every single one of them is embraced in James' word it. There is no trial, no great calamity or small pressure, no overwhelming sorrow or small rub of life outside that plan of God, whereby it is a stepping stone to glory. And it is for this reason that our settled conviction must be to appraise it as all joy, not because it is joyful in itself (for 'all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant' [Heb. 12:11] when it is in full flood), but because 'later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness' (Heb. 12:11). In James' words, it is the only way forward to become perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." Alec Motyer

Where Have I Been?

...And why has my blog been silent for sooo long?



Need I say more?

We Did It! Wednesday

Becky at Holiday in the Sun is the fabulous host of "We Did It! Wednesday." "We Did It! Wednesday" is all about quality one-on-one time with our children and grandchildren, and sharing ideas of fun things to do together!! You can click on over to Becky and see what others are doing and pick up a few ideas.

If you've read my recent posts, you know we have been in desperate need of crazy fun at our house, so when the kids asked if they could build a fort last Friday afternoon, I thought yep! that's exactly what we'll do. And we did it!

Personal insight: this goes completely contrary to my "need for control" nature. Our house is residence to five kids under the age of seven, and extra chaos is not usually something I am open to having more of. During the day we co-exist with pillow trampoline piles, block towers, arts and crafts centers, Lego super-structures, baby doll hospitals and car parades in seemingly every corner of the house. Having a picked up living room in the evening helps preserve my sanity.

A Friday night fort was a big step...but I closed my eyes and took the plunge. Did I mention that was last Friday?!?! Each morning the kids begged for one more day. After all, what good is a fort if you can't play in it? And play they have. For five days and nights this lovely fort has been the focal point in our house. It has been made and remade many, many times and we're pretty sure we now have the perfect model.

Even the stuffed animals were considered...

The most amazing part to me is that the kids have actually slept. Really well. Maybe we're on to something. Except for the aforementioned sanity factor, bedrooms could be highly overrated! (Note: Aiden's "Davy Crockett" hat because every fort needs a real pioneer).

As with most excitement in life, all good things must come to an end, so our fort is being disassembled this morning. But you know what? It's been really fun. It was just what we needed. And I haven't gone crazy!

They're Watching Me

Those little ones we care so much about and whose hearts we work so hard to fill with "good things"...

I am again reminded that it's the day-to-day stuff that makes the biggest impression...

Quote of the Week

What one generation tolerates, the next generation will embrace.

John Wesley

Quote of the Week

My children love this one...

Obedience is doing what you're told, when you're told, with a respectful attitude. Anything less is not obedience.

Voddie Baucham

Applesauce

Saturday morning Avery and I tackled the 40 pounds of apples that had been sitting in our garage waiting to become applesauce. I'd been putting it off because I've never canned on my own before. I watched my mom when I was growing up, but I don't remember helping her. My aunt and I canned jam a few summers ago but I did more observing than actual work. Doing it on my own was a little intimidating, so I recruited my best helper.

When I got married I hardly knew how to boil an egg. I am determined to make sure Avery is more prepared than I was, so I try to include her in as many of my household responsibilities as possible. And you know what? She loves it! She's good at it! And she's actually helping to lessen my load!

She wanted to be involved in every step of the process, so I let her do everything but transfer the boiling applesauce into the hot jars.

She peeled...

She chopped...

She recruited (and critiqued) help...

She prepped jars (and graciously shared her spare apron with her little brother!)...

She stirred...

She called for quality control...

And supervision...

And the best part...she tasted...YUMMY!!!...

Taking pride in the finished product...

Every jar sealed and we were so excited. We ended up with 12 quarts of applesauce and had so much fun that we decided next year we want to do a lot more!

Fun Mom

It's another snowy day in the Puget Sound. We have about 5 inches now and it's still coming down! They're predicting it might even last through Christmas! The kids are in heaven during the day and they've been sleeping well at night...

Days like these help me realize what's really important. I have so many "to dos" on my list. Christmas is a week away and I'm not nearly as ready as I think I should be. I have cards to finish, baking to do, presents to wrap, menus to plan and last-minute errands to run. Not to mention the laundry that needs to be folded, the bathrooms that need to be cleaned and the carpets that need vacuuming.

But it will all have to wait. Today I'm going to take my children outside, rather than just sending them out on their own. We're going to sled down the hill a hundred times, attempt to build a snowman as well as Dad can, invite the neighbor kids in for some cocoa and forget about the floor that needs to be mopped when we come inside.

Then we're going to put the coats in the dryer and do it all again.

It's going to be a "fun mom" day. We don't have enough of those around here, so I'm off to bundle up...

Who Do I Look Like?

With a new baby in the house, we've been making a lot of "I see you in her eyes," and "Oh, that expression looks like so-and-so" observations. Lydia is transforming before our eyes. Each day her appearance is becoming more and more defined. We're excited to see what the end result will be.

All of our children look like Sommas. Some look more like Steve, some look more like me and a couple are perfect combos. But there are qualities and characteristics in each of them that tie them to our family. That make it clear that Steve and I are their parents.

Ultimately our prayer is that they resemble their Heavenly Father most of all. That people will see Jesus in our children, and not just when they are children, but for their whole lives. That they will have hearts of compassion, that they will stand for truth and righteousness, and that their words, attitudes and actions will direct others into relationship with Him.

Although I know God is Sovereign, I also know that much of this responsibility lies with Steve and I. God gave our children to us so that we would show them who He is.

What do my children see when they look at me? They certainly know my faults and my failures better than most, but when I make mistakes what do I do about it? Do they see me repent and ask for forgiveness? Or do I get away with bad attitudes and sometimes even bad behavior that I would never allow from them because I'm the mommy?

I cannot live a life of hypocrisy. My actions and behaviors must reflect Jesus to them. What I expect of them, I must also expect of myself. I am the example God gave them to follow. If I expect kind words from them, I must speak kindness. If I expect self control from them, I must be self-controlled. If I expect selflessness from them, I must be selfless. And on and on and on.

So often I find myself frustrated by my children's behavior and then realize they're acting just like me! It's too easy to get complacent at home. I get tired, let my hair down and it all hangs out. Sometimes it is not pretty. But home is where I need to be most on top of my game. I have lots of little eyes watching me. I have lots of little people acting like me. I have lots of little hearts mimicking mine.

When my children look at me, I long for them to say, "My mommy has Jesus' eyes. My mommy has Jesus' heart. My mommy loves me like she says Jesus loves me." Each and every day I want the qualities and characteristics in my life to look more like my Heavenly Father, so that my children too, will look more like Him.